The Conundrum of Choice

My dad was a crack addict and my mom was a stripper… so I chose to become a doctor.

I come back to this thought often in my life.  Because it reminds me that no matter where you come from or what you’ve been through, the ‘where you go part’ will always be up to you.  You will always have a choice about where to go next with your life.

I think we forget this small but monumental fact because it is such a simple concept.

We hear about free choice and choosing the path less followed and all the cliché ideas about choice that we are used to hearing.  We accept that moving cities or taking a new job is a choice.  That getting married or divorced or having kids, all those things are choices we make.

But do you remember that how your day turns out is a choice? Do you remind yourself that your happiness is a choice?

Each day we are faced with scenarios that aren’t easy.  Some are bad and some may be good.  Many are easy and some may even be catastrophic.  But no matter what the scenario you are faced with, how you respond, how you react, what you do or say next-- is up to you.

How you choose to manage your life, is your choice.

As a veterinarian, I work in a profession that not only has an issue with mental wellbeing but is also a profession that struggles with lots of other ‘shit’ during our everyday life (literally and figuratively).  Managing and directing a large after-hours facility has the added bonus of human management on top of the normal workday.

There are days that I don’t deal so well with all of my responsibilities.  But one bad day doesn’t mean I’ve failed in general.  Because I remind myself, that I have the choice to do different, act differently, speak differently the next day.

We have to remind ourselves continually that each second, each decision, each day - is filled with situations that we have control over, with our choices.

Here’s the catch though; it isn’t just about reminding yourself you have the choice.

It is about which choices we are consciously or unconsciously making.  All the ideals I mention before are about those tangible things; reacting to a colleague or staff member, signing a divorce paper, buying a house, etc.

But many of the choices we overlook are the intangibles.  Your happiness is a choice, healthy living is a choice, being grateful is a choice.

And when it comes to the intangible options, I think we sometimes fall back onto the ‘easy’ choice.  Because hard choices make us uncomfortable or aren’t familiar or venture into things that are ‘unknown’ for us.

So many times we may actually realise we have a choice but do you make the choice that feels easy or comfortable or is a little bit less work?

Picking the ‘right’ choice, is often the more difficult road.

Choosing to be patient with that irritating staff member, choosing not to yell at the person that just rear-ended your car, choosing to put down your phone and play with your child, your dog, your spouse, those are often decisions or actions that seem unnecessary or unimportant.

And some of those ‘right’ choices even venture into painful.  Choosing to end the relationship that is unhealthy for you, choosing to leave a job we know has potential, leaving an entire career for your mental health or to watch your child grow up, those can be extremely difficult choices.  What about watching someone else walk away and choosing to let them go peacefully or choosing to let your pet or family member go when the time is right.  Those choices can be soul wrenching.  Just because a choice makes you cry or scream or rage… doesn’t mean it’s the wrong choice.

In fact, if making the right choice was easy… everyone would do it.

Now think about that statement again.

If making the right choice was easy, we would rarely ever have arguments or miscommunication or disagreements, in any scenario because everyone was making ‘right’ choices.

So, I will say again making the ‘right’ choice is hard, it almost always will be.  I do believe that if we’re honest with ourselves, there is always a peace that comes with making the ‘right’ choice.

And I continue to put ‘right’ in quotation marks, because we’re often talking about shades of grey here, not the sexual book kind (well it could be that too) but we’re talking about decisions that aren’t cut and dried.

We’re talking about decisions that you are often making based on your gut feeling or where your heart wants you to go instead of your head.

Potentially that is what makes those decisions more difficult.  Because courage doesn’t feel courageous and healthy decisions don’t usually give instant gratification.

It always comes back to… the choice is yours to make.  You are the one that decides your future.  And you decide that by making choices in your present.

So, what are you going to choose to do next?

Guest Blog thanks to Dr Shalsee Vigeant

Veterinarian, Mentor & Director

“Just try to do the next thing right”

Main image credit: Diego Jimenez on Unsplash